Saturday, September 8, 2012

You Can Rant If You Want To...


* Degenerative disc disease

* Osteoarthritis

* Pinched nerves in my neck and lower back (and permanent nerve damage to my right side) that causes weakness and numbness in my legs, arms, and shoulders 

* Chronic and pretty much weekly migraines or just daily headaches

* Bursitis in both hips

* Knees that hurt and make noise, but I don't know what's wrong with them

* One ankle has a bone fragment, a bone spur on the heel, and ligament damage

* The other angle has ligament damage - both require surgery to fix

* Ulcers and acid reflux

 * Tinnitus (constant ringing in both ears)

* Depression

You can now add kidney stone (which has stopped hurting, so I'm okay), and cysts on both of my ovaries that need a doctor to examine them to find out if they need to be removed and what sort they are. 

The next asshole that says anything about people not needing a universal healthcare can suck it. I've worked since I was 16. I've worked my ass off. The fact that I'm *still* waiting for medical is seriously some bullshit. My old job offered me unpaid leave. UNPAID. How the hell does some multi-million dollar company *not* have paid disability for people that need it for more than a few weeks? Don't they realize it can take up to TWO years for someone to file for SS disability? And that, if they're single, like me, with no kids, there's almost no programs out there to help you? I have no income, working isn't something I can do - hell, my hobbies are the things I can do from my bed half the time, and I don't know of any job that'll let you work from your bed and give you time off when the headaches get so bad you have to cover your face because light hurts so much. 

Basically, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of not being able to see a doctor, or to have a prescription for the medication I need to manage my pain. I need injections in my neck and lower back just so I can walk for more than an hour, or to be able to sit up and enjoy a meal without constantly wondering how long it'll be before I can lay down and cover my head because sitting up for a few hours gives me the headaches without fail. Sitting up for three hours results in that numbness and tingling in my hands. You try writing, drawing, or even reading when you have a headache that makes light feel like knives stabbing you in the face and brain. Then tell me how it feels when there's no doctor, no drugs, no relief for you. Until you've walked a day in my shoes, or in the shoes of someone that's dealing with chronic pain that doesn't have access to medical, shut your gob. 

I'd also like to eat a meal, just once, without getting sick after eating. Just once. For the last year, every time I eat anything, I am treated to the acid reflux or my stomach flipping me off. No matter how good the food is, it never tastes as good coming up. It makes you really picky about what you eat, because the food better be worth how it'll make you feel afterwards. I bet if I could see a doctor, I could have the stomach issues taken care of. Oh, right, no doctor for me... 

Fucker works 2 years in office and gets tax payer provided healthcare, for life. I work for most of my life and I get nothing but a 'good luck with that, here's another form you have to fill out, and I know your doctors in Chicago said this about your condition, but we need you to see some other doctor that'll do one test and your entire healthcare will be determined by someone that thinks all you need to do is lose a few pounds in order to feel better'. News flash... last weigh in says I've lost 50lbs. I don't feel a lick better.

2 comments:

  1. So sorry for you Michelle! I wish there was something I could do to help! For the Acid reflex I had it bad and it did go away with the help of Tagemet, prevised and Prilosec. All over the counter now if you have not tried them. They are a little pricey but worth it. Prevacid Worked best for me and others long term. My acid reflux lasted a couple of years and went away. Swimming may be good for you since it will work the muscles without the impact and strain on your injuries. I know your rant wasn't about asking for help but I hope this does help you a little.

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  2. I'd love to swim, but I have no access to a pool that has stairs (the ladder isn't do-able due to my above listed pain issues).

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